There's no place like....

Palm Beach - first day of Xmas holidays :)

Being home on the Gold Coast for Christmas has been so good this year. Unlike last year (where it rained, none stop, for the entire 8 days of my break) the weather has been pretty good - plenty of sun, lots of heat, LOTS of humidity and enough token showers to squeeze in the afternoon sleep.

Unlike last year too, this break has been more like a training holiday. My brain is definitely having an extended siesta but my body is getting belted more and more as the weeks go by. Training on the Gold Coast over the past 10 days has been fantastic (yes I have definitely whinged about the heat - but seriously, it is bloody hot) because it has presented a whole bunch of new mental and physical challenges that I don't have training in Melbourne:

• I may have mentioned the heat. It is very hot here, and very hot very early in the day. Leaving for a ride at 6:45am one morning, I learned my lesson about 20min in that it was going to be a long 3.5hrs in the saddle. Rides must start no later than 5:30am otherwise you're in for unnecessary pain.
• Some days, the humidity makes it feel like you are riding or running in a sauna and it makes breathing and regulating HR tough. While Melbourne gets hot, it doesn't get this humidity and training in this climate is hard work if you don't get things right (like hydration, nutrition, rest and recovery). I have embraced the Slurpee and Compressport calf and quad guards this holiday and both have been essential to train and recover.
• Headwind & crosswind. Now I know in Melbourne, the headwind on Beach Road is a bitch. On a bad day there, I honestly thought it couldn't get much worse. Wrong. The Gold Coast, with its high rises and coastal location, contorts itself into some kind of wind vortex where - regardless of what the weather bureau tells you, regardless of what direction you ride - you seem to battle a head wind for 75% of your ride and most probably some nasty cross winds. If you're really lucky, you may get some surprise wind gusts of 50km/hr just to keep you on your toes. 
• Road quality. I have learned we are so, SO lucky in Melbourne to have the roads we do. The Gold Coast councils seem to think that cyclists can make do with the offcuts of the road, the bits with pot holes/gaping separations/sewer covers/decorative bricks/leftover Indy bolts and we should all be really grateful. Oh, and 1 cycling lane for 2 directions of cyclists. Go figure.
• Other cyclists. In Melbourne, you have to watch out for drivers who have no idea but cyclists are generally a well mannered bunch. On the Gold Coast, the drivers are polite and will actually WAIT FOR YOU to leave off the lights (amazing. Manners. They exist). Cyclists, on the other hand, have no idea. No cycling etiquette, slow (SLLLLOOOWWWW), riding 2, 3 4 abreast and no hand signals. I swear, I feel like I'm in some twilight zone up here.

All of these factors have presented different challenges when going about my training program. I'm not used to this heat, I'm definitely not used to the humidity and - when you spend your days training by yourself - battling a headwind for 2 hrs can really break your spirit, not to mention exhaust you. In these conditions, day after day when you're supposedly on holiday, it could really make you doubt yourself and your ability and improvements in this sport. You know, when the Garmin tells you your av speed is down (no shit, you've been riding a headwind in a sauna for 2 hours) or your heart rate average is way up (again, der, its bloody hot) it could be easy to think "This is really shit. I'm really shit".

Not this time. I used this as a challenge. What a great environment to really test things out, push those barriers during the tough interval runs it the humidity or when legs feel like giving up after twice daily sessions and lots of bike hours. Because racing is tough, the conditions might be tough. Busselton could be really hot and what am I going to do, complain about how hot it is? No way. Now is the time to learn and adapt to these conditions, figure out what works and see how I can cope.

Plus - when you have the opportunity to ride past this sort of scenery, you really have to stop and remember how lucky we are.

Cabarita Beach @ Christmas Day - heaven

And I did cope. Yes there were tough days where everything hurt, I was dripping buckets of sweat off the bike on the road and was swearing and bitching about the Gold Coast weather - but my data was good, my pace and speed stayed on track and -if anything - I saw improvements. I made mistakes, identified what they were, tested things and fixed them. And I think this is the big confidence boost I needed - I needed to know that, when conditions were tough, I could still get through and not fold. Noosa was a perfect example of me not being prepared for the conditions. I cooked, and I hated myself that entire race. I was completely unprepared (physically and mentally) for those humid and hot conditions and had no coping mechanisms, nothing to fall back on. Big mistake. This time, it will be different.

The one thing that has been unaffected by all of this? Swim sessions. After a 13 year hiatus, I made my way back to the "Palm Beach Aquatic Centre" (as it's now called), where I used to spend most of my school day afternoons following the black line, being screamed at by my swim coach and being subjected to what I suspect is a form of squad training that is probably not allowed anymore (i.e. brutal and offensive). What was previously know as the PBC pool has had a facelift, and now there is brand new pool that meets all Olympic standards. And most of the time, you get a lane to yourself and a suntan to boot. Awesome.

So it's not quite MSAC....and you might get bird poo on your bag.....

Aside from this "training holiday", I have also been having a real holiday doing the important things in life - drinking lots of coffee, taking lots of naps (could really do with more, the training part of this holiday is making me seriously snoozy), catching up with old friends, doing some shopping, working on my tan, bonding with the dog (who hated me but now follows me around like we're besties) and spending time with the family. I look forward to this time of the year as it's the one week where all my girls are in town and we can hang out and talk like we're still 16 and nothing changed. I love that about our relationships.

Mel, me and Brooke xx like old times

So I'm back in the big smoke on NYE (will be a rager, getting in from the airport, driving home, building my bike again ready for a 6am ride! Hold me back!) and really looking forward to it. Today, one of my best friends gave birth to twin girls so there are two very exciting reasons to come home - I can't wait to meet them - and another friend is due any day now. But, for me, I know I am coming home a little bit fitter, mentally tougher then before and ready to start the 4 month build into 70.3 Busso. 

Happy New Year!

You are capable of achieving your wildest dreams

Being on the cusp of yet another new year, I started thinking today about what I had done this year and whether I felt I had progressed or improved from where I was last year. I was soaking my legs in the bay after 3.5 hours on the bike and a short run, feeling good (if not a bit thirsty) and it felt like an apt time to ponder such things as I stared out into the water.

As a control freak, I am the first to admit I like hard work = results. Immediately if possible. I'm not a fan of the slow burn, or the chip-away approach; every day, I like to see some improvement from the last. This goes for training (I'm obsessive with Garmin data and terribly critical of myself), for work (I like to see progress with projects or documents and am very impatient with people who don't tend to work as fast as I like to) and for relationships. More often then not, I can get disappointed as - strangely enough - it is generally difficult to be awesome every day. You will have days when you're off, you're tired or you're not in the mood or you just need to do the minimum to get through the day. We all have those. Unfortunately, when you fail to hover over the day-today results and look at it from a big picture perspective, those off days can tally up and become far more serious (in your mind) and get far more airplay then they should.

So today, I thought about where I was at in life generally on the 18th of December 2010. I was actually shocked, seriously shocked, when I thought about it and realised how different my life is now; but also, how my attitude and outlook on life has shifted so dramatically.

365 days ago:

• I had never completed a triathlon (seriously?!)
• I was learning to ride a bike again, and still learning how to use aero bars, having not ridden for close to 13 years
• I was back in the pool, chasing the black line, for the first time in 12 years
• I couldn't run more than 2km without stopping
• I wasn't part of Tri Alliance
• I had never met Alex - my current housemate and now good friend
• I was in a dysfunctional and unhealthy relationship
• I was anxious and lacked self confidence
• I was blonde
• I was living in Hawthorn and hating it
• I was bored and unmotivated at work
• I was 6-7kg heavier

Typing those things out, what became so obvious was how unhappy I was. It's glaring at me from the screen - I was not in a good head space, not in a good space in my personal life and my life really lacked direction.

Starting sport again for the first time in 12 years was a very scary thing for me. In high school, I was a state level netballer and swimmer. I trained hard at both of these and did well. But for the intervening 12 years, I pretty much did the standard girl "fitness" regime of ad hoc gym sessions and body attack classes - hardly what I would now consider "fit". Making the commitment to triathlon was daunting because I knew I would not be good at it straight away (and I've spoken before about how I like to be good at things) and my ego took a beating pretty much immediately when I realised I had to re-teach myself how to ride a bike and swimming 1 lap of a 50m pool exhausted me (that part was particularly embarrassing given I used to swim squad for 2.5 hours after school 3-4 nights a week). 

Then came the never ending stream of things I was also not good at: (a) using clip less pedals (a nightmare); (b) using aero bars; (c) running; (d) having confidence. I found it really hard but also really humbling. I realised this would be no different to my job or a relationship in that, if I wanted to be good, I was going to have to work really hard. Which is what I decided to do - so most of 2011 was focused on working hard at triathlon and - to my complete shock - this has brought such a sense of purpose and calm to my life. It has given me an outlet to channel my drive, stubbornness and competitive streak into an area which has a never ending stream of possibility. 

But above all, "finding" triathlon has brought a whole group of wonderful people and a fantastic new lifestyle into my world that I never dreamt I would have 12 months ago. It's made me more happy then anything else in my adult life and has given me a focus and a direction - and also a mental attitude - that I haven't had in so long. It's instilled a sense of purpose and freedom in my life that is in such stark contrast to my working life that it's now brought my life into balance. For the first time.

So to take stock, during this year:

• I finished my first triathlon (a sprint "enduro" triathlon) and 2 x sprint distance triathlons
• I came 4th in my first ever sprint triathlon in the 1st timers category :)
• I raced in the Noosa Triathlon, my first Olympic Distance event, and finished in the top third of my age group
• I raced 1 duathlon and 1 triathlon-turned-duathlon, finishing in the Top 10 of 25-29 :)
• I completed the Great Ocean Road ride
• I went to my first triathlon training camp, clocking up 300km+ on the bike and 30km+ running
• I entered my first major A race - Ironman 70.3 Busselton 2012
• I ended an unhealthy relationship
• I moved to Port Melbourne and moved in with my fantastic housemate Alex
• I was offered (and accepted) a new role at ANZ
• I took the step of signing up with a new coach.

When I look back on it, 2011 was a pretty awesome year. Sure, there were ups and downs (pretty great ups and very bad downs) but when you look back on it and survey the whole picture - it was pretty damn good.  It's also made me realise that we are capable of anything, even things that are seriously our most crazy nut bag dreams. It all comes down to how badly you want something and how much you're prepared to sacrifice for it. How much skin in the game you're willing to give.

I feel like I'm a kid who has just discovered a lolly shop and now just wants to run around like crazy, tasting everything. It's like I've finally found the piece of my life that's been missing and I want to push it as far as I can and see what else is out there. So all I want for Christmas is for 2012 to bring me more of the same, while at the same time learning learning learning. Because this is just one big journey at the end of it all.

H2O

Growing up on the Gold Coast,  knowing that you could just pop down for a quick dip was never something you considered particularly awesome. It's how you grew up, the beach was 'just there' and the only time you couldn't swim in it is if the lifeguards officially closed it because the weather warnings were so severe.

Water quality was a concept that Queenslanders discuss in a totally different way. Here's what we mean when discussing the quality of the water:

• are there any bluebottles?
• are there any jellyfish?
• what about cornflakes (those buggers are annoying as all hell if they get in your togs)
• much swell? any sweeps?
• can you see the bottom or are there are few rips around (meaning a lot of sand churn)?

Here's what you don't discuss:

• pollution
• bacteria levels
• the EPA
• rainfall (except when it turns the canal brown, then that's just a general nod of the head acknowledgement that 'we've hadda bitta rain')
• not swimming

Since I've taken to the sport of triathlon, I've been introduced to a whole new obsession over water quality, a subset to the obsession over the weather. Water quality has completely dominated the triathlon season in Melbourne this year and both sprint triathlons have been converted to duathlons because of bacteria levels in Port Phillip Bay. I'll admit, coming from Queensland, this whole concept of cancelling swims was so foreign to me. Why do that because of some rain? Sure the water might be a bit brown, but ruin the whole event? It's only now that I understand that Melbourne's suboptimal drainage system has lead to this ridiculous scenario which is making me wonder whether we'll see a triathlon at all this season.

It got me thinking that the only way to guarantee a triathlon is to travel. Interstate. So I had planned on doing just that, registering myself for the Canberra Olympic distance triathlon which is also a World Championship qualifying event. This was all looking quite tidy, fitting nicely into the schedule, until a bomb was dropped in my inbox today:

Well not quite algae - but BLOODY BACTERIA. Levels in Lake Burley Griffin are so high that the swim will "almost certainly" be cancelled and replaced with....a duathlon. They must be kidding. And apparently a fair trade for a 1.5km swim is a 5km run. It's not.

So now it seems that not even interstate travel can guarantee a triathlon. I swear it feels like "Where's Wally?" this triathlon season. So, having pondered the scenario for all of 5 seconds, my flights and accommodation were cancelled, weekend training re-scheduled and I resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn't be racing again until 2012.

But every cloud has a silver lining. The 2.80.20 Challenge Cairns race has been simmering in my mind for awhile now. The timing isn't great; 4 weeks after Busselton. But Cairns will guarantee a swim and the course is magic. And now the Challenge Cairns crew have moved the swim to an even better location with a deep water start, there is something burning in me to give this race a shot. I'll be in peak form, I'll be trained and ready to go...I just have no idea how I'll feel after pushing out my first 70.3 and whether I'd even be interested in fronting up 4 weeks later and racing again.......but I might. And who doesn't love a destination race?

Now THAT'S a swim course!!

Embrace reality

Little Miss Stubborn

It will come as no surprise to those who know me that I consider myself a competitive person, and a stubborn one at that. I like being good at things, I like applying myself and working hard and seeing results. I'm not sure why, but I've always wanted to excel. Participating at anything, unless I know I have prepared and given it 110%, doesn't bring me much enjoyment.

It becomes very difficult to manage this personality when things don't go your way; specifically, when hard work and effort doesn't seem to make much of a difference. When the logic doesn't add up, when applying common sense or maths or researching or doing figures or any of the above doesn't give you the answers you are looking for.

So how do you manage your own expectations in this situation? How do you overcome the feelings of inadequacy, failure or overreaction when this has been such a strong theme of your personality your entire life?

The reality is that you will never get your way all the time because you cannot control everything. How wonderful if you could. So it means we must develop strategies to manage our own reaction to situations we are not happy about. 

I've learnt over the years that the first step is to be rational. I find this a challenge as many of my thoughts around wanting to be the best or be good at things are completely irrational. For example, I fantasise about winning my first half ironman. That will never, EVER happen - not because I can't (ONE day) do this, but because it is just not rational to think that I could achieve this on 6 months training when there are people who train 5 years to do the same thing. It's a similar principle to your eyes being bigger then your belly.

Being rational means accepting certain facts, some of which are going to look very unattractive if your someone who actively likes to avoid any weakness or areas which aren't 'perfect'. For me, it's accepting that I've only just started running in the last 5 months. Fact. I won't be running like a gazelle or like girls who have been running for 10 years. Or the fact I have a terrible short term memory, which means at work I often can't remember if someone asked me something in a meeting unless I write it down. Fact. These are not earth shattering issues, no one is going to die, but they are little things that annoy me on a daily basis and of course I wish were different. But they're not, so I need to accept that what is, is.

Part of this acceptance is then figuring how I can improve. What can I do that is achievable and realistic? Again, be rational. Setting unrealistic goals is only going to make me disappointed when I don't achieve them and make me feel more inadequate then when I started. This is a difficult process for someone who wants to be the "best"and feels frustrated with the body that seems to be holding me back, but you have to work with what you have. 

Onwards and upwards :)

Summer lovin'

After some pretty cross weather the past few weeks, and lots of questions asked about where summer's been hiding, the last few days has greeted us with some pretty amazing Melbourne weather. When Melbourne turns it on, it really turns it on and its almost impossible not to want to get out in your shorts and thongs and grabs some rays while it lasts (which in Melbourne, is usually a few days) :)

This sort of weather also makes training so much fun - being out on the bike when the sun's shining down, or out running when the wind's still and the sun's out and you're running along the water in Port Melbourne - really doesn't get much better down here. The heat means you need to watch fluids a bit more closely, but I really love training in this weather - not sure if its the combination of the sun, the heat, the water looking like a postcard....all of the above!

Tonight I had an interval run set to do and I admit it was on my mind most of the day. My well publicised feelings of inadequacy with running make me anxious when facing a tough session and I knew this would be a tough one. 10 x 2min sets at ~ 4.30min/km pace with 1min recovery, 10min warm up, 10 min warm down. Doesn't sound like much but trust me - after # 5 this was coughing up a lung stuff.  Hard (for me) and going into the session I was mostly worried about whether I could hold that pace with my heart rate where it needed to be for 10 sets. Emphasis on worry and anxiety.

I have been reading a book called the "Mind-Body Method of Running by Feel". It's really fascinating and basically the theory throughout is that the mind is capable of powering your body to do whatever you want it to do. Apparently, the body never reaches peak exhaustion before you quit. It is incapable of doing so because your mind prevents it. The psychology in the book talks about strategies for mentally training your brain to think differently about pain and about your physical senses, to acknowledge them but to - in a way - learn to control the thoughts of "its so hard" or "I want to stop" or "I'm giving this everything" because these thoughts are false. Your body is capable of much more then you think so it is an exercise in learning to overcome the physical feelings with mental power. It's discussed in the context of running but the more I think about the principles they equally apply to any stressful or troubling experiences in life.

With this fresh of mind, I decided to adopt some of these concepts for tonight's run - mostly as a backup because I was nervous about hitting the numbers and needed something to fall back on :)

For me, it worked. I started this session without any thoughts of negativity, without the normal "this is going to be hard, I'm such a crap runner, I don't know why I bother" and instead acknowledged that the session would be tough, it would be hot, but I am strong and have been working hard and know my body is capable of this if I approach this in the right way.

Amazing. Tonight, I hit the numbers spot on and did even better then I expected. Was it hard? For some of them, yep. Did some negative thoughts creep in? Yes - but the difference was that I controlled them better then I have done in the past. I didn't use them to invalidate my efforts, but just accepted them as a given part of the pain I was pushing my body to accept.

I was so happy with tonight's effort, particularly given the heat. It was such a beautiful night so I went down into the water and iced my legs once the session was done and watched the Spirit of Tasmania leave for the night, other people swimming laps in the ocean and there was even a girl out on her stand up paddle board. It's nights like these that make me feel so fortunate to live in Port Melbourne and have all this on my doorstep.

Tonight was a really important exercise in truly believing in what you are capable of. I read a lot of articles where writers make generalised comments that "you can do anything". I think this is true to an extent. You can do anything with the right approach. Discipline, commitment, execution.

I was relaying my running woes to my friend Richard one day when we were discussing a gazelle like effort of another triathlete. I started a sentence with "I'll never...." and Richard practically choked when he heard these words. This is a man who does not believe in the impossible. He lives and breathes happiness and passion and is of the firm belief that we, as humans, are capable of amazing and wonderful things. He asked me why I thought I'd never be a good runner. I said that my heart rate is too high and it makes it hard. He asked me what the heart was - I said "its an organ, a muscle". He smiled and said "Exactly. And can muscles be trained? Can they get bigger, leaner, do more with less effort?"

And that was the light bulb moment I needed to understand that nothing is impossible. Not even running fast :)

Harnessing your most powerful tool....

And so it starts....

So after returning home from Noosa, I'll admit I was a little disappointed with my efforts. But having sat down and looked over my preparation and race execution, I realised there was definitely room for improvement.

Those who have had the (pleasure?) of hearing me talk about triathlon know that I have unexpectedly found a new passion in life that brings me so much happiness - it challenges me, pushes me and presents an opportunity to (hopefully) excel in a sport that I knew hardly anything about 2 years ago. I am committed to this sport not because I have to be, not because someone's forcing me, not because I have something to prove - but because I really love it, I am fascinated by what the body is capable of and I want to see what my body can do. I've spent 15 years pushing my mind to see what it is made of; now'e the time to do that with this bod and see what happens.

With that in mind, I came back to Melbourne with a very determined mindset that things were going to change, that training consistency was going to become a priority and - if I'm honest - I became stubborn and a bit frustrated. I feel like I have it in me to be good at this sport but 1 + 1 wasn't equalling 2 for me and I couldn't figure out what I needed to do.

Coupled with this was the date that I had been waiting for most of the year - 19 October 2011 - which was when entries to the 2012 70.3 Ironman Busselton opened. Since the day I became interested in triathlon, it has been my goal to compete in a half ironman event and after initial injury woes (and, lets be honest, over ambition) set me back last year I was determined that 2012 was going to be it.

I was lucky enough to nab myself an entry (they sold out in 2 hours!) and then sat down and had a hard think about what I needed to do over the next 6 months. It was a no brainer that my life was going to be devoted to training for this race;  I want to give it everything I have, know I have put myself in the best physical condition on race day and that every training session, every hour that is spent away from work, friends and family is worth it. I realised I needed help, one on one help, and fortunately I have been lucky enough to be taken on by a fantastic triathlon coach who works at VIS and has been tailoring a training plan that works for me, that is mapped to my heart rate and strengths/weaknesses, periodised back from race day (5 May 2012) and that I feel is going to work. 3 weeks in I feel stronger, fitter and more confident then I did and I can see the numbers improving. I'm still not setting the world on fire with my running but - provided there is no injury to derail my plans - I should get there :)

2 weeks ago I had a small hit out at the first race of the Gatorade Triathlon series down here in Melbourne. I love the swim in triathlon but, given the dumping of rain in the days leading up to the race, the triathlon turned into a duathlon (replacing the 500m swim with a 2km run - hardly a fair trade in my book). I was less then moderately enthused by this news. Running before riding is the pits, my legs get cooked, my body goes into lactic meltdown and its all a very unpleasant experience. The old me would have gone "forget it, I don't do running" and not raced. The new me decided to front up and do it; no harm done, good to get in some race experience and I needed to supply the coach with my heart rate data (i.e. how high my heart rate goes before I die....or something like that).

Unlike last season, I was very relaxed on race day. I knew what to expect, I knew some of the girls, I had some of the other TA girls to hang with and I wasn't stressed because I wasn't putting pressure on myself. I know Im not a strong runner, I knew the girls who were fronting up to race were probably doing so because they ARE strong runners and were happy that the swim was off the cards so my aim was to just roll through as best as I could.

Predictably, the first 2km run (let's call it "sprint") was hard straight up. These girls are smoking fast, small and whippet like and not built at all like me. I ran as fast as I could before I was going to cook myself and, to my complete shock, ran 4:10m/km pace. Which for me, IS smoking. 

Into transition, grabbed the bike, yet another fail on the bike mount where I slipped off the seat and careered into the gutter (so professional) but recovered and was off. I love the bike, I'm strong relative to everything else and I felt like I picked up a fair few girls. There was a constant headwind coming from all directions which meant I was slower then I thought but - I found out after - still top 5 overall in terms of time.

Into run #2 and to my shock (again) was running sub 5min/km off the bike for the first 2km. But then it all fell apart a bit. I don't know if I cooked my legs with the run + bike, didn't take in enough fluid on the bike but I was feeling weak and off. Negative thoughts overcame me and I basically (shamefully) checked out of the race at the 3km mark with 2km to go. In hindsight, what a piss poor effort but again, that is the power of the mind.

I put in a solid effort to finish as the TA crew were cheering and you can't help but feel motivated by all that carry on!! I crossed the line and forgot to stop my watch so really had no idea what my actual time was overall. I thought it was somewhere around 1:13 which is almost a 4min improvement on my last sprint distance race. 

Again, because I am so hard on myself, all I thought was "Only 4 min from last season? God that's crap". Hahaha those who know me will not be surprised by that response. After a couple of days, what I eventually found out was that I made the Top 10 - I came 10th, in a duathlon, which made me laugh given how badly I run (relative to the other girls). But perhaps what this shows is that I'm not as bad as I thought :) 

But my FIRST TOP 10!!!! I have been aiming for this all year and am pumped to finally have cracked it within the first 12 months of racing. Excited to see what happens next :)

I wish!! But never say never......

Time flies when you're having.....fun?

Its been awhile since I've posted anything and I can't believe the last update was 62 days before Noosa.

Well, Noosa has definitely come and gone and there have been some big changes in my life since then. But lets start with Noosa. What a ride. That race, that week was a total buzz. The entire town was inundated with triathletes and you could unashamedly walk around and talk, live and breathe triathlon for a week. You'd sight the famous triathletes (talking Macca mainly) chilling at the Noosa surf club and generally just mixing it at the coffee streets along Hastings with the other 4000 odd people lining up to do the race. The town had this great vibe and this swell of adrenalin. You really felt as though you were on the circuit, being a triathlete.

The weather leading up to Sunday's race was average. Overcast, raining and the talk was whether it would be a wetsuit swim. I was completely against a wetsuit ruling on the sheer basis that it's Queensland and I felt to wear a wetsuit up here was a complete insult. Luckily, race day water temperature was 24.1 so it was officially a non wetsuit swim. Excellent.

On the downside...having been overcast and wet the 4 days leading up to race day, Sunday greeted us with blistering heat, a cloudless sky and HUMIDITY. Eek it was not my favourite. Plus, my age group was one of the last to start so I knew this meant I was in for a hot run (I wasn't wrong).

I was definitely nervous on race morning. This was my first Olympic distance triathlon (1500m swim, 40km ride, 10km run), it was hot, I hadn't done a lot of running due to injury and my training wasn't overly consistent leading into the race. Ten months after my first triathlon, I knew I was putting a lot of pressure on myself. In my head, I wanted to hit 2 hours 30min. What I didn't really give due respect to is just how much conditions can affect your race.

By the time our age group was ready to start, the current had picked up in the canal and not in a good way. It meant that we swam about 900m against the current into transition. I felt like I got into a good rhythm with my swim but I was swimming near girls who I know I am faster then so I wasn't having a solid swim. Swimming against the current really messed with my head, and by the time I was about 200m from shore I had enough of the swim and was well over it. Really need to work on this mental toughness.

Into transition and I made every rookie mistake possible. I was disorientated from the swim and hadn't paid attention to the transition exits, which meant I ran around like an idiot with my bike, asking marshals how to get the "hell outta here". Not cool and wasted valuable energy. Once i got out of transition, there was no jump mount (again, too flaky on the legs) so after a very amateur mount, I was off on the bike,

As I pedalled out of town I made it my mission to catch up time. I picked up a number of girls on the way out and was holding a pretty solid speed, but the heat was well and truly out. I drank way too much electrolyte drink way too quickly and my stomach was not playing ball with me. It sat in my gut the entire race, fortunately not coming up again but it made for an uncomfortable 2 hours.

Noosa includes a 3 km climb called Garmin hill. I'm not great on hills and i had decided my tactic was going to be to spin easily up this climb and not worry about pace. This lost me time but I wanted to conserve energy as, being my first Olympic triathlon, I had no idea what to expect and how I would fatigue.

The 40km went fairly uneventfully and coming into town (again, an unattractive dismount) I was into transition, into my runners, and out onto the run.

Well.

This was, well and truly, the most excruciating athletic experience of my life. Well, in my head at the time, it was. 10km on burning hot asphalt, in the smoking hot humidity of the Sunshine Coast, with a stomach full of electrolyte drink that would not digest (meaning no nutrition for me) was, undoutably, torture. I went through the full range of mental battles with myself during that run and honestly felt like I had to stop and walk, to give up, that I couldn't go on. In fairness, people were lying on the side of the road completely dehydrated and in need of medical attention so it was legitimately rough out there. I felt like I was absolutely giving it everything and I had nothing left to give. If you asked me then, I would have swore on my life I gave it everything.

It was after the race, looking at the numbers, that you realise the power of the mind. It really can convince you of anything.

I finished my first OD triathlon in 2:42, 12min over my goal time but I have to take account of the conditions. Plus, this still placed me in the top third of the 25-29 females (a very fast category) and - the thing I am most proud of - I had the 27th fastest bike split. Out of ~130 girls, on a fairly average day for me, I was pretty pumped with that. 10 months after my first ever triathlon, I'd say this isn't a bad effort :)

The most interesting part is the run data. As I said, I thought I gave that race everything. My average run pace, however, was 5:30m/km. For me, that is training run pace. Hardly giving it everything I had. What that tells me is I had a lot more in me, but the mind is such a powerful thing,  I was convinced I was cooked so my body behaved that way.

Here's me about 200m from the finishing line, just running past the TA crew. I hurt. A lot. I just wanted to finish the race at this point:

So..... next up? Gatorade Sprint (which turned into a duathlon....more on that in a sec!) then I'm off to Canberra to race on the 18th December in another OD race. After that, a little bit of time off racing, then to Geelong in February for another OD, Mooloolaba for the iconic Mooloolaba Triathlon in March and then the big one - the one I've dedicated the next 6 months of my life to:

62 days..

It's officially 62 days until Noosa and it all starts today. Discipline, committment, consistency. After recovering from my poplitus injury, I went to go for a light latte ride last Thursday and promptly strained my hamstring tendon. I mean, COME ON. Am I looking for a message in all of this? So like a good athlete, went and checked myself out with Khan at Lakeside on Friday. Was told the strain was acute, no riding or running and to limit swimming until I see him again tomorrow (Tuesday). Man. Patience is honestly the 4th leg of a triathlon. Have been like a woman possessed since then, icing/foam rollering the hamstring and ITB to help nurse it back to health. It's almost September and in my mind I cannot have any more time away from a consistent routine. The Kinglake ride is on the 11th and the training camp is on the 16th and I want to be ready to go for both of those. This really could not have happened at a worse time and I have had a bit of athlete depression over the whole thing. It's something I need to work on - not letting it all fall apart the first time I get a road block.

So - swimming tonight, Khan in the morning (who will congratulate me on being such a good patient, give me the all clear so I can go to windtrainer tomorrow night - here's hoping!) and lots of positive thoughts and discipline in the meantime!

Motivation....time....it's around here somewhere...

I'm not going to mince words. Things have started to fall apart on the training front. 2 weeks ago, I injured my poplitus muscle during windrainer (my own fault; rookie seat adjustment lead to an overextension of my pedal stroke) which had me out of action for run and bike for close on 10 days. Officially. Unofficially, I have not done a thing except one swim and one strength session in 10 days and made up for the lack of training with an enormous amount of eating and working.

Diet is gone. Discipline went with it. It seems that when my training routine is disrupted my body goes into some sort of metabolic meltdown and I crave food like a monster, much more than when I'm training. My motivation to do any sort of physcial activity is also MIA. I should get to the pool. I should run. I should ride. My injury is repaired, it's recovery week, I can legitimately do these things. But now that I'm out of routine it is this mind/will battle everyday which is nuts because I love this stuff...but losing that routine is a killer.

Overlaid with that is work. Nightmare hours, days of meetings, few spare lunchtimes means my normal gig of strength training at lunch is also gone. Also gone is the 6pm sessions with the squad, any chance of a life and my will to do anything after 8.30pm which is when I have been getting home. There is no end in sight but this can't continue, I need to find a way to make this all managable so I don't have to neglect training and my goals.

It's frustrating me because I feel like the good work and preparation I've put in over the winter is about to be compromised....it's almost as if I can see the outcome laid out ahead. I am determined to put in a solid 10 week block before Noosa and go into that race knowing I committed to the training and I put myself in the best condition I could be in. That's not going to happen until I sort this schedule out, stop shoving chocolate down my throat and get my ass out of bed and onto the bike/into the pool/out onto the track again.

It all starts next week :)

Life commandment #1 - Believe in thyself

This has been an interesting time for me, in terms of assessing where my fitness and training is at. I’ve had a rough time the past 4 weeks with illness which has limited my training consistency, especially in the pool. I’ve managed to keep riding and strength work at a fairly consistent level and all my runs are still in rehab mode on the treadmill so I haven’t had any idea where that is at. So it was with very little expectation that I approached the last recovery/time trial week. I honestly thought it would be a pretty big blow to the ego.

So I fronted up to MSAC for swim TT. It was freezing, I was being a wuss and complaining that my feet were cold. Not a great start. I wasn’t in the zone, wanted to be home rugged up. I felt lethargic from work and reluctant to even try given I felt my swimming would have definitely gone backwards. Negative from the start – not great.

Pulled myself together and got in for the warm up. Surprisingly, the good folk at MSAC have taken pity on those who frequent the outdoor pool and it was nicely heated like a spa. Easy. Feet defrosted and got through the warm up fine – if not a little tired from the 50m builds. My anxiety started to build a little before we started, I comforted myself by thinking it was only 500m and at least I wasn’t doing 1000m like the guys who were doing Shepparton. I was placed 4^th in the lane and we set off. For the first two laps I went for it, tried to hold my breathing to every 4 strokes and basically belted that for as long as I could. Predictably I fatigued pretty quickly. By lap 4 I started to really feel it, breathing every 2 strokes but focussing on the technique, pulling through strongly, extending and maintaining a consistent kick. I won’t lie, it was tough and for the first time (I can’t believe I’m admitting this!) I thought “I’m going to have to stop”. But as quickly as that thought came into my head, I pushed it away. Yes it hurt, yes it was hard but for Christ sake it’s a time trial. Push. Think about Chrissie Wellington – do you reckon she has a sook when it starts to hurt? So on that note, I continued and counted down the laps. By this stage I had passed swimmer 3 and was on the feet of swimmer 2 so I knew I was making up time and at least my endurance was there, despite the lack of training. Hearing the cow bell for the last 100m was music and I gave what was left in the last 2 laps. Got to the end pretty spent but thinking there may have been 5% left to give.

When times were being read out, I had no expectations. I figured I’d be lucky to match my last time (9.09). Then Sarah told me “you smashed it” and said I was definitely coming to Wednesday morning swims. Time? 8.49m. I couldn’t believe it. You could not wipe the smile off my face, I wanted to hug her. A 20 second improvement after the month I’ve had taught me some interesting facts – 1) strength training works. It’s massively important. 2) Technique is everything. Combined with strength, this is the winning combination. 3) If you have those two things, and you miss some sessions, all is not lost. All I could think about is what I could achieve once I got back into some serious pool training……and on that note, practically skipped out of MSAC like I had won the lotto.

Which brings me to the Run TT. Dread. I basically have done no run training for nearly 3 months and very sporadic training before that. I have had issues with my left foot since my stress reaction last May which has had a huge impact on what I can do with my running. I have been diligently (and patiently) nursing the latest injury with the help of Kade @ Lakeside for the past 2 months and was given the OK to do this TT at 75%. Which of course meant that I ended up belting myself because as if I ever do anything at 75% (sorry Kade).

Running & I have never been friends. I’d love to be a great runner, I would love to put the work in, but my injuries have held me back. So I was keen to get a line in the sand with this TT so I at least had somewhere to go. Warmup alone was 2km and some run throughs, more than I’ve done in 3 months. But I handled that fine. Again, the anxiety built at the start of the TT as I looked around and thought “everyone here’s a runner, I’m going to be last, they’ve all been training, I’ve done nothing”. You get the picture. Mentally, all over the shop. We started and I took off at a conservative pace, trying to judge how I felt. After about 1km, I put the foot down and starting pushing 4.30m/km which for me is motoring. I felt good, strong but I knew I couldn’t hold this pace but decided I’d hold as long as I could. Around halfway my asthma kicked in (it’s been so long since I have run that I forgot about the exercise induced asthma part!) and from then it was a wheezing battle to push and breathe. I battled the voices the whole way “it hurts, just stop, you can’t do this, it’s so far, just slow down, how do you think you’ll ever run 10km off the bike, you can’t even manage 5km”. You get the drift. In some parts, I just closed my eyes and kept running. I’ll say one thing about myself – I’m a stubborn, determined little bitch when I want to be and I will pass out before I’ll give up with some things. I decided tonight, during that TT, that I would crawl to the line if that’s what it took. I thought about every triathlete who ever won a race and ever felt pain. I reminded myself that the pain passes, find a rhythm, get the pace under control, think about anything except how much you hate the moment right now. And boom, before I knew it, I had 500m to go. Sure, I was running about 5.20m/km by that stage and close on a full blown asthma attack but I was almost there. I time checked myself – I could see 23m something on the Garmin and couldn’t believe it. I was close to running sub 5min/km average for this TT, my fastest ever pace over 5km and I knew I had run around 4.30m/km for the first 2-ish km. I was on cloud nine (kind of….in a struggling for air kind of way).  I crossed the finish line doing 24.49m for 5km. Unbelievable. I needed a few minutes to get air in, sort my asthma out and just digest what I had put myself through. I had belted myself for 5km on virtually no run training whatsoever and gotten my best ever result. Again, I learnt some valuable lessons 1) STRENGTH TRAINING works. I have absolutely no doubt that this has contributed to this time. 2) Losing weight since I last ran, and gaining muscle mass, has definitely had an impact. Running is a function of weight and the fact is I am physically lighter by at least 4kg since last tri season and since I last tried to run like this. 3) The fitness I’ve gained from riding has definitely helped. I’m sure this has given me strength in my legs that I never had before. 4) Technique technique technique. While I’ve been plodding away doing the rehab thing, I have been trying hard to use the time to learn new technique because – lets face it – I had none to start with. I look at the massive improvements people make with their swimming once they learn some technique and can’t help but think “that could be me” with my running.Very keen to read, watch and learn as much as I can in this space.

So. Talk about a surprise outcome. Very encouraged by these results. Am pumped that my focus with training, commitment with diet and lifestyle and overall ability is improving. I love that I now have some numbers to work with. I love that it’s only July and I’m pulling these times now, particularly with my run – still can’t believe that one and desperately excited to get some real run training under my belt. Can’t wait to log a TT on the bike and time check where that is at. So important to benchmark these. But the most important thing to work on is my mental fitness. This is the thing that I think will let me down and stop me from putting this all together in a race.

Next week is the August TT. I've had an injury the last week so have been off biking and running so we'll see how that goes. Skin folds have improved so muscle mass is there - just hope that gets me through!