4 more training weeks. Wow. That's an intimidating thought because we always want to train more, just squeeze in a few more sessions. Then there's the big question - have I done enough. Can I be a competitor. Am I mentally ready.
About 4-5 weeks ago was when things started to turn for me. Up until that time, I think I had lingering questions about some things. Could I run a half marathon strongly off the bike? Could I bike strongly and still run strong? What does running 21km feel like? Can I run 21km?
Then something happened. It was like the training puzzle came together and shit started to work. My legs were running strong. My long runs got easier. I stopped being the slowest swimmer at squad. My biking shot up. I don't know why or how this happened but, as I said in my Portarlington race report, I realised that I could do this race, be a competitor and trust my training and my body.
That's something I've focussed on this week. Off the back of the monster IM Melbourne weekend, the early mornings, late nights, negligible nutrition left me in a bit of a crumpled mess. I got sick quickly, which should't have been such a shock given (a) the massive but awesome weekend; and (b) the number of people I work with sharing their various illnesses around the floor. The result being 5 days of no training, dragging myself through the days, cold & flu tablets, ginger & lemon tea, sleep time and worrying about the fact I wasn't training. Missing 5 DAYS?? The control freak in me started to meltdown. This was supposed to be a big, focussed, HIM week. Key. Important. Critical. And here I was, letting myself down by being sick.
That's right. "Letting myself down". Like I had any say in it and any control. Life is not perfect, bodies certainly aren't invincible and I've been incredibly lucky with the build I've had to escaped with nothing more then a few niggles. My body has been good to me, strong and it has tolerated a lot. But obviously, it can take only so much. So rather then allow myself to wallow in what I couldn't do, I tried to focus on what I could - rest, take time off, take advantage of the days I couldn't train to give my body what it hasn't had in so long (time off) and focus on getting back into the sessions once I was better. Dwelling on the week would do me no good and only prolong a headspace which would do me no good. Pushing my body to train would only end in tears (literally) and make the recovery period even longer.
So today, I got up and I rode for 2 hours (I'll admit, I did need a bit of a push out the door :). Nothing fast, just moving the legs again. And it felt great. Legs felt strong, it was warm, the Spanish track team cheered me on and the head wind back from Mordi didn't bother me (too) much. I'll admit, it was mentally the longest 2 hour ride ever and I think my body was in a bit of shock (what, a bike? we're back on this thing again? Geez) but you know what? I physically felt no different. If anything, I felt better with the rest I've had. And that has given me exactly what I need. The confidence that 5 days off, the scheme of things, is no big deal.
Now, I've got 4 weeks to tweak the last 5 months of training. I've got no doubt it's going to be a pretty ugly 4 weeks, I'm going to be tired, things will hurt, I'll start to stress at some point.....but that's what racing's all about. That's what triathlon is all about. Blood, sweat, snot bombs, vomits, pain, aching, tears and that one moment when you cross the line and realise that THIS moment is why it's all worth it.
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